Black Friday Cage Match: Retailers vs. USMC

Posted by Kelli McKinney

iStock 000017149417XSmallOne week from today, after spending a day with family and friends, reflecting on our blessings and good fortune, shoppers will be rushing the gates of stores nationwide to nab cheap television sets, discounted Furbys, and whatever else they can get their tired hands on.

Last year 226 million shoppers did their part to try and boost the sagging economy, bless their hearts. We all know someone who braves the crowds and does their best to get a great deal on a gift or two. Some families make a day of it; others, however, prefer to shop when the stores aren’t so crowded.

Whether you think Black Friday is a cherished holiday tradition or you believe it’s a trumped up blitz designed to shore up somebody’s stock options, one thing’s for sure: It’s coming.

If you’re a shopper who plans to research sales, set your alarm and elbow jab your way into a good deal, here’s a training video to get you in the shopping frame of mind.

If your idea of Black Friday is more in line with that of the United States Marine Corps, this gem will get your blood rolling.

In the USMC, Black Friday is the point within basic training at which recruits meet their permanent Drill Instructors and their Company Commander. The DIs, as you would expect, physically, mentally, and psychologically challenge the fresh-faced recruits, confusing and disorienting them. It’s intense, and it’s inspiring, and it’s done to help them break those pesky civilian habits and prepare them for Marine Corps discipline.

That, my friends, is hard core.

Whether your preference is for the physical and psychological challenge of waiting in line at Best Buy in the 4 a.m. darkness, or if you’re more inclined for the rigors of USMC basic training, that special day called Black Friday holds a precious meaning for every American.

But here’s what I can’t help thinking about:

A Black Friday Face Off: Retailers vs. USMC. A sort of Black Friday Cage Match. Put an obstacle course in the middle of a big box retailer, line up the interested competitors before daybreak and when it’s all over, the toughest person wins flat screen, or an X-box, or whatever the object of their desire may be. That might be worth getting up early for.

Here’s my last thought before I go make my shopping list. If Retail Black Friday faced off with USMC Black Friday, I don’t think there’s any doubt who would win. My money’s on the Marines. Every time. Semper Fi and Happy Thanksgiving.


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