Air Force Strikes Blow against Terror by Rounding Up Girly Calendars
Rest easy, America.
While the Navy has been busy doing dumb things like issuing flammable work uniforms to sailors and relying entirely on a few hundred overworked SEALS to maintain its reputation, the Air Force has been hard at work protecting the American Way of Life.
Last November, we covered the Air Force’s service-wide crackdown on inappropriate materials like girly calendars, racy posters, and historic photographs of nose art painted on aircraft flown by actual warriors.
Everybody laughed then.
Well, we’re sure not laughing now.
Because among the inappropriate materials discovered in Air Force workplaces by Air Force Chief of Staff General Mark Welch and his team of inquisitors, officials confiscated the following dangerous items:
- A photograph of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady (without a shirt).
- A copy of Air Force Times featuring breast-feeding women on the cover.
- 200+ images of aircraft nose art dating back to WWII
- A copy of a novel entitled 50 Shades of Grey
- The Swimsuit Edition of Sports Illustrated (which Air Force officials classified as “pornography.”)
- An unspecified number of copies of Maxim.
- A pubic hair in a logbook.
The number of Air Force man-hours expended in the sweeping inspection of 97 different Air Force installations was not immediately clear.
So what do you think…Is this laughable enough for our Friday Fun? Do you feel safer now?